NFL Picks Week Six sponsored by Studio Yukupo

I am going on holiday next week so mercifully for all my t̶e̶n̶s̶ five or fewer loyal readers, no column in the mean time because I am far too l̶a̶z̶y̶ fearful of an unreliable connection, schedule and super confusing time difference. Hopefully my skills of precognition will improve without the pressure of public scrutiny and I am on the right track having hit the comeback trail last week with thanks to the AFC and NFC South teams whose games I went 5-0 with. Of all my half-backed predictions, it is gratifying to see the Panthers fall away with the expected post Super Bowl hangover. Few in the mainstream NFL media saw anything but another NFC Championship parade for Cam Newton but as Conor McGregor once said, "It's like in the jungle. One king gets old. He starts getting sloppy. He starts stagnating. Then a young gorilla comes up and kills him and takes everything he owns. That is what is happening here." That goes for you and three point lead too, Chris.

Picks after the jump.

NFL Picks Week Five sponsored by Studio Yukupo

Not to brag but I went 5-0 with my UFC picks last night. Not that it was especially hard to predict given it was such a ho-hum card but with my season of NFL picks careening off the tracks and into a concrete wall, I need something to cling onto so I'll take whatever I can. Once again I stand by my picks from last week except for the Ravens who I should have known were not good after they only just barely scraped past the awful Jaguars the week before. You often forget about the coaches in these scenarios too. It seems obvious in hindsight that John Fox would o̶u̶t̶f̶o̶x̶ outcoyote Jim Caldwell but as always on the day itself you get swept up in non-logic such as "well the Lions are 1-2 but they're better than they looked". Sure, of course they are.

Picks after the jump.

UFC 204 picks

The UFC hits Manchester tonight though don't tell Sergei Rafalov that. Says Rafalov, the CEO of Ukrainian football club Zorya Luhansk, "Manchester is a dirty city, full of drunks and men kissing in the street". The first part of that sentence is pretty rich coming from someone fighting (with their words at least) out of the former Soviet Union but by the time the main event kicks off at UFC 204, even the drunks and the possibly effeminate blokes will have cleared off back inside because the start times for the fights have not been adjusted for local time. For some inexplicable reason, they've decided to cater first to the PPV audience back home in America which is baffling because this card is completely devoid of draws and I would be shocked if it got to 250k buys. Perplexing decisions by the UFC are par for the course at this point though. More on that next month.

Picks after the jump.

NFL Picks Week Four Sponsored by Studio Yukupo

Another sub-par week of picks but this time I stand by them - how was I to know that it turns out Tom Brady was s system quarterback all along?* How was I to know that Carson Wentz is football Jesus and how was I to know that Blaine Gabbert was not a Real American? How was I to know that the Patriots would not be playing the Jaguars next despite the fact I had been reminding myself for months that the first game after Brady's suspension would be conveniently versus the Jags?

Anyhow, while my scatter-brained approach to pick games has not proven to be so insightful thus far, there are a few things we do know after three weeks of action:

1. Bill Belichick is a warlock. I guess we already knew that.
2. Gus Bradley is not a warlock. Who will be fired first? Charlie Strong, Rex Ryan or Gus Bradley?
3. Miko Grimes still hates Ryan Tannehill
4. The success of the Cavaliers and Stipe Miocic has not rubbed off on the Browns
5. The Vikings are for real but will still lose in the playoffs in excruciating fashion.

Picks after the jump.