Now that the fire is back, I thought 'what a perfect opportunity to try something I've always wanted to do but have never before had enough people assembled to attempt!' That is of course to start an office pool, that is where everyone in the office, or in this case group, throws ten dollars into a pot, picks a random team and at the end of the season, whoevers team wins it all gets the entire pot. So I went and floated this idea to the group, without the money incentive of course since I don't gamble for money anymore and was met with confusion, apathy and assumptions that I was posting in the wrong chatroom. There was probably some scorn in there too. Great.
In the end I thought, 'Screw you guys! I'm just gonna conduct one anyway and you all will just have to live with the consequences!' So what if they don't know what the NFL is or who any of the teams are or what the heck I am even doing? Perhaps they will read this and learn a thing or two. Never give up and all of that.
Results of the pool drawing and my monster season predictions and previews after the jump!
The names went in one hat and the teams went in another. These are the results presented in the order that they were drawn.
- Michelle -- Kansas City Chiefs
- Yi Rin -- Washington Redskins
- Kar Poh -- Baltimore Ravens
- Yiang -- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Borg -- Oakland Raiders*
- Dawn -- New Orleans Saints
- Chow -- Seattle Seahawks
- Jyn -- San Diego Chargers
- Lay Kuan -- Buffalo Bills
- Audrey -- Chicago Bears
- John -- Jacksonville Jaguars
- Kent -- Houston Texans
- Samantha -- Minnesota Vikings
- Francine -- San Francisco 49ers
- Connie -- Carolina Panthers
- Libby -- Detroit Lions
- Jesy -- Denver Broncos
- See See -- Green Bay Packers
- Yong CH -- Arizona Cardinals
- Tyrell -- Cincinnati Bengals
- Lay Yong -- Cleveland Browns
- Yong YT -- New York Giants
- Jigenzanittou -- Miami Dolphins (yeesh)
- Eugene -- St Louis Rams
- Mandy -- New England Patriots
- Mark -- New York Jets
- Thim -- Tampa Bay Buccaneers
- Cindy -- Philadelphia Eagles
- Henry -- Dallas Cowboys
- Jack -- Indianapolis Colts
- Matt -- Tennessee Titans
- Maria -- Atlanta Falcons
Now, as arranged by division with their predicted record!
| # | NFC East | W-L | |
| 1 | Redskins | Yi Rin | 10-6 |
| 2 | Cowboys | Henry | 9-7 |
| 3 | Giants | Sr Yong | 8-8 |
| 4 | Eagles | Cindy | 4-12 |
| # | AFC East | W-L | |
| 1 | Patriots | Mandy | 12-4 |
| 2 | Dolphins | Jigenzanittou | 8-8 |
| 3 | Jets | Mark | 4-12 |
| 4 | Bills | Lay Kuan | 3-13 |
| # | NFC North | W-L | |
| 1 | Packers | See See | 12-4 |
| 2 | Bears | Audrey | 7-9 |
| 3 | Lions | Libby | 7-9 |
| 4 | Vikings | Sam Tan | 6-10 |
| # | AFC North | W-L | |
| 1 | Steelers | Yiang | 11-5 |
| 2 | Bengals | Tyrell | 11-5 |
| 3 | Ravens | Kar Poh | 9-7 |
| 4 | Browns | Lay Yong | 5-11 |
| # | NFC South | W-L | |
| 1 | Saints | Dawn | 11-5 |
| 2 | Falcons | Maria | 8-8 |
| 3 | Buccaneers | Thim | 7-9 |
| 4 | Panthers | Connie | 5-11 |
| # | AFC South | W-L | |
| 1 | Texans | Kent | 12-4 |
| 2 | Colts | Jack | 7-9 |
| 3 | Titans | Matt | 7-9 |
| 4 | Jaguars | John | 5-11 |
| # | NFC West | W-L | |
| 1 | 49ers | Francine | 13-3 |
| 2 | Seahawks | Chow | 11-5 |
| 3 | Cardinals | Jr Yong | 7-9 |
| 4 | Rams | Eugene | 7-9 |
| # | AFC West | W-L | |
| 1 | Broncos | Jesy | 14-2 |
| 2 | Chiefs | Michelle | 8-8 |
| 3 | Chargers | Jyn | 4-12 |
| 4 | Raiders | Borg | 3-13 |
Now for some previews! I have helpfully divided all thirty-two teams into six categories:
- Contenders (the favorites to win the Super Bowl)
- Top Tier (teams I don't believe can win the Super Bowl but are certainly good enough to make it and be in that discussion)
- Dark Horses (teams that have the talent but aren't being hyped as top tier contenders)
- Outsiders (teams that are being a little overrated because of a few star players and probably will not be near the discussion at seasons end)
- Also Rans (teams that will cause trouble for contenders but won't be making any playoff noise)
- Bruce Coslet Division (a tribute to Bill Simmons)
THE CONTENDERS
SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS
Coach: Jim Harbaugh
Quarterback: Colin Kaepernick
Rival: Seahawks
Surface: Grass
I hate the 49ers like almost no other team so hopefully my picking them to go 13-3 and win the division will jinx them. Unfortunately, this isn't some top heavy team that made it into the Super Bowl on the back of an improbable streak รก la '05 Steelers, '03 Panthers, '06 Bears, this team is stacked with talent from top to bottom and will not be falling off. Unless of course...
BURNING QUESTION: IS COLIN KAEPERNICK THE RIGHT MAN TO LEAD THE 49ERS?
Bottom line is no. He is a total asswipe. As if the whole upgrading girlfriend once he got some money in his pocket wasn't enough of a red flag, there was the nonsense this summer with the Dolphins cap. It's not even just that he wore it, it's that he didn't get why people were upset that he was wearing it. He does not get it. He has an attitude problem and while his obvious talent will mask his problems early on, as the season gets longer and the games get harder, he will have a tough time the way he is of rallying his team around him. They will not play for him, much like how the other Packers shun Aaron Rodgers.
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
Coach: Bill Belichick
Quarterback: Tom Brady
Rival: Broncos
Surface: FieldTurf
New England remain one of the most successful teams of the past decade but their standards are so high that anything less than a Super Bowl title is considered a failure of a season. Gronk's injury problems and Aaron Hernandex's legal catastrophe means this will likely be another 'failure' of a season but somehow despite their advancing years I still trust Belichick and Brady as a Coach/QB combo too much to bet against them. Their division is still easy so it will all be about the playoffs.
BURNING QUESTION: HAS THE PASS DEFENSE IMPROVED?
Not necessarily, but I don't believe it is as big an issue as people make it out to be. It's true that they give up a lot of passing yards but teams are often being forced to play catch up with them. Some people also worry about Brady's receivers but he has made do with less before and still made it to the AFC Championship.
DENVER BRONCOS
Coach: John Fox
Quarterback: Peyton Manning
Rival: Patriots
Surface: DD Grassmaster
It seems like Denver has no roadblocks on their way to a number one seed this year. Vince Young infamously dubbed the Eagles the Dream Team a couple of years ago but the Broncos are the real dream team of 2013. Their weaknesses feel almost like nitpicks compared to other teams in the AFC. Could overconfidence cost them the way it did eight months ago against the Ravens?
BURNING QUESTION: CAN PEYTON MANNING STAY HEALTHY?
Without Manning, all these high expectations for the Broncos will be flushed down the tubes so they had better do their best to make sure he does. The offensive line is good enough and he has always had a quick release but Denver's running game is hit and miss. If he has to shoulder all the work on offense himself, it could get tricky but I think he can handle it.
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
Coach: Sean Payton
Quarterback: Drew Brees
Rival: Falcons
Surface: UBU-Speed-Series-S5-M
No coach ever proved his worth more doing less than Sean Payton in 2012. I'm not convinced he would have been able to stop the bleeding last year even if he had been on the sidelines but my feeling is that we can consider that season a blip. This year, I feel strongly they will be back piling up the points. Teams will not relish defending them, that much I can guarantee.
BURNING QUESTION: WILL THE DEFENSE BE ABLE TO GET OFF THE FIELD?
The Saints defense was humiliated a year ago by practically every team they faced. Rob Ryan has arrived as the new defensive coordinator and he wants to implement a scheme change which I think will prove to be a disaster once they hit the playoffs. The short answer is that no, the defense still will not be able to get off the field but the offense will save them in more games than is reasonable.
GREEN BAY PACKERS
Coach: Mike McCarthy
Quarterback: Aaron Rodgers
Rival: Bears
Surface: DD Grassmaster
The stories emerging from ex-Packers about Aaron Rodgers are no surprise to me. I don't expect all faces of the franchise to be as genial as Peyton Manning but Rodgers always seemed exceptionally surly and aloof. It was always clear to me at least that the only reason Brett Favre felt compelled to leave Green Bay was because Ted Thompson, McCarthy and Rodgers were being huge wangs toward him on a daily basis.m That said, Rodgers is too accurate a thrower and the rest of the team still has too much talent to be picked against. I believe they have some mental vulnerabilites thanks to their sub-standard leadership but hopefully my hedge betting on them will further prove a source of bad luck.
BURNING QUESTION: CAN THIS TEAM THRIVE WHEN THE TEMPERATURE DIPS BELOW ZERO?
There has long been this great myth going around that when the weather gets cold and snow starts to fall, you need to be able to run the ball and play good defense. Not anymore however with all these rule changes. Snow slows everyone down, making your defense look better naturally of course. But if you have great ball control the way Aaron Rodgers does, it seems like it would be far easier to throw than run so the Packer's lack of a great running game need never be exposed.
SEATTLE SEAHAWKS
Coach: Pete Carroll
Quarterback: Russell Wilson
Rival: 49ers
Surface: FieldTurf
The Seahawks are being touted by almost everyone who matters as one of the top three if not the number one favorite to win a title this year which makes me very enrvous as the hot team pre-season rarely lives up to expectations. In '06 the Dolphins famously melted down. In '08 the Jaguars crapped the bed and every year that Mike Singletary (Ha!) was a head coach in this league, the 49ers were an embarassment. However, there is something to be said for momentum, no matter what Bill Barnwell thinks, and this team closed out 2012 with five straight wins. A 4-0 pre-season doesn't always mean anything (the '08 Lions famously went 4-0 in the pre-season) but they have been physically dominating teams with their second and third line-ups, which is all part of Pete Carroll's master plan.
BURNING QUESTION: IS RUSSELL WILSON THE REAL DEAL?
I love his attitude and he plays smart but everyone has suddenly decided that this guy is unquestionably in the top ten of the league and that gives me the jitters because he is still real short. The game done changed, and he can roll out of the pocket to get a better view of the field but I'm not sure his receivers will help him a lot this year.
THE TOP TIER
BALTIMORE RAVENS
Coach: John Harbaugh
Quarterback: Joe Flacco
Rival: Steelers
Surface: Sportexe Momentum 51
The defending champions have had a lot of turn over and be at that high level they were a year ago but they still have a great core of talent and will be a very tough out for anyone they face. They don't have the sophistication of a Houston for example but even with Ray Lewis retired, they still have that 'killer' mentality so to speak.
BURNING QUESTION: WHO WILL LEAD THE DEFENSE NOW?
With Ray Lewis and Ed Reed both gone, who will be the new leader on defense? Generally talent wins out so you'd think Terrell Suggs or Haloti Ngata, but then again you also have to actually be on the field and not on some reinforced medical table somewhere. Maybe it's a moot point and this is Joe Flacco's team to lose.
ATLANTA FALCONS
Coach: Mike Smith
Quarterback: Matt Ryan
Rival: Saints
Surface: FieldTurf
The Falcons always seem to feel like a perennial pretender because there is noone on their team who is outstanding - they are all just merely good. Julio Jones has a chance to break that ceiling but he is not there yet and the Falcons schedule is about to get a lot tougher.
BURNING QUESTION: IS MIKE SMITH A TOP TIER COACH?
I'm biased towards Mike Smith because he was the defensive coordinator in Jacksonville but like his players, there's nothing exceptional about him. There is nothing about his style that I can point to and say, 'He does this better than any other coach' and on a team that expects to be a Super Bowl contender, I think that is a problem. It would be ill-advised to fire him though, because he is good and you could do so much worse. That's the trap the Falcons are stuck in along with the next team...
HOUSTON TEXANS
Coach: Gary Kubiak
Quarterback: Matt Schaub
Rival: Colts
Surface: Grass
I had to check that Gary Kubiak was still the coach of this team because that guy is the very definition of mediocre. This team suffers from a serious lack of competition. They'll win their division almost by default and much like Atlanta, they are just good. Not great. They will win one playoff game, no more than that and maybe not even that.
BURNING QUESTION: CAN MATT SCHAUB CARRY THE TEXANS TO THE NEXT LEVEL?
No. The best players on this teams offense are getting old this is the last year of their window. Matt Schaub is good, or rather, acceptable but he is not a player who can pull something out of his butt the way someone inconsistent like Joe Flacco can.
CINCINNATI BENGALS
Coach: Marvin Lewis
Quarterback: Andy Dalton
Rival: Ravens
Surface: UBU Speed Series S5 M Synthetic Turf
I'm beginning to detect a theme here with the coaches and quarterbacks who are acceptable but not championship level. The difference with the Bengals are that they are young and developing. AJ Green is already a stud and their defense is as hard as they come. They can be maddeningly inconsistent but they could leap into contender territory next season, maybe even as early as this season were it not for...
BURNING QUESTION: CAN A GINGER QUARTERBACK WIN THE SUPER BOWL?
No.
CHICAGO BEARS
Coach: Marc Trestman
Quarterback: Jay Cutler
Rival: Packers
Surface: Grass
I feel as though I am being mightily generous calling the Bears a top tier team. The only reasons they are in this category is that a) I was quite tired when I was putting this list together yesterday and b) like Atlanta and Houston, this is the last year of this window. This is not a steady and unspectacular team like those two. However, Chicago can light it up with the best of them at the top of their game. I don't think they will be able to find that mood at the right times this year though.
BURNING QUESTION: HOW WILL HISTORY JUDGE JAY CUTLER?
I was a staunch defender of Jay Cutler when he forced his way out of Denver but he hasn't exactly done me proud in the intervening years. He seems to have made a lot of enemies along the way so I have a feeling the books of records will not recall him fondly but I think he is a better player than the likes of Jeff George and Daunte Culpepper to whom he is compared.
THE DARK HORSES
WASHINGTON REDSKINS
Coach: Mike Shanahan
Quarterback: Robert Griffin III
Rival: Cowboys
Surface: Grass
The Redskins had a lot of momentum at the end of last season but with Griffin's injury I don't know if it can be sustained. Medical technology has come a long way but with two knee injuries behind him now, I'm not sold that Griffin can be a top tier quarterback. The surrounding talent is good enough to win a division with but I think more needs to be added around RG3 to give him the best chance of success.
BURNING QUESTION: IS KIRK COUSINS REALLY ALL THAT?
I don't think so. I think he is another Matt Flynn and in a year, some desperate team like the Jets will trade a high pick for him and he'll be average at best. I would take RG3 on one leg over him any day.
PITTSBURGH STEELERS
Coach: Mike Tomlin
Quarterback: Ben Roethlisberger
Rival: Ravens
Surface: Natural Grass
People have been predicting this as the end of the Steelers but unfortunately, they are always good and Mike Tomlin is a great coach. With a weakened Baltimore and still immature Cincinnati to contend with, I think the division is there for the taking and they will find a way to do more with what is supposedly less.
BURNING QUESTION: DO YOU STILL THINK BEN ROETHLISBERGER IS A SCUMBAG?
My disdain for him is directly proportional to the number of sportscasters assigned to lick his balls. Of late, that appears to be far less than used to be the case.
DALLAS COWBOYS
Coach: Jason Garrett
Quarterback: Tony Romo
Rival: Redskins
Surface: Sportfield Softtop
In a make or break year for the Cowboys, I think they have enough in the tank to sneak into the playoffs. How far they get after that is up to Tony Romo because their talent reserves are very so-so. Jason Garrett needs to go either way. Never ever anoint someone as your next head coach, it's a terrible idea. It does not alow to explore all options or make significant changes if something is not working as it clearly was not at the end of the Wade Phillips era.
BURNING QUESTION: WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE HATE ON TONY ROMO?
They're just jealous of all the hot babes he gets.
NEW YORK GIANTS
Coach: Tom Coughlin
Quarterback: Eli Manning
Rival: Eagles
Surface: FieldTurf
The Giants have good talent and a great Coach/QB combo but somehow it just doesn't all add up. I don't feel confident they can hold onto leads this year and their defensive coordinator seems rather overrated. More concerning than that, the Super Bowl is being played in their home stadium this year which guarantees they will not make it.
BURNING QUESTION: HOW MANY TIMES WILL ELI MANNING BE SACKED THIS SEASON?
It could get ugly. I say... 51.
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS
Coach: Chuck Pagano
Quarterback: Andrew Luck
Rival: Texans
Surface: FieldTurf
I feel like Indy is a year away from being the best team in this division. For now, their schedule is looking challenging. Maybe I'm just cruel but I didn't care much for the Chuck Strong phenomenom. I'm happy he pulled through and got healthy but I don't think it had much of an effect on the performance of the team.
BURNING QUESTION: IS ANDREW LUCK THE BEST OF THE YOUNG QUARTERBACKS?
Yes. He has a top tier attitude and his skill set is more sustainable and adaptable than any of them apart from Cam Newton and Colin Kaepernick, both of whom will eventually wash out because they are knuckleheads.
THE OUTSIDERS
DETROIT LIONS
Coach: Jim Schwartz
Quarterback: Matthew Stafford
Rival: Vikings
Surface: FieldTurf
Jim Schwartz is not a savvy enough coach to steer himself out of this mess. Like the Bears, they have the capability to make fireworks but they are even less consistent. Their division is hard and I think they will fall short of where they are expected on both sides of the ball again.
BURNING QUESTION: IS MATT STAFFORD A GOOD PLAYER?
Maybe it's just me, but he always looks high. He has the talent to be great but it doesn't seem like he is intuitive enough to look for a plan B when scanning the field. Yeah I know, Calvin Johnson is just that good but that kind of approach only works with a viable run threat and I don't think that Reggie Bush will have a game changing impact in enough matches. In the old days of the NFL, Stafford would be considered top tier but nowadays he is just average.
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS
Coach: Andy Reid
Quarterback: Alex Smith
Rival: Broncos
Surface: Grass
The Chiefs have some very talented players but they didn't all come together as a team. Andy Reid, reknowned as a fantastic weekday coach should improve that a lot but he remains a gameday liability. I don't think that Alex Smith is a big upgrade over Matt Cassel. I think this team could make the playoffs in a weak AFC West but they won't win a game beyond that.
BURNING QUESTION: WILL DWAYNE BOWE BREAK OUT THIS SEASON?
I don't think this will be any big difference and the Chiefs will still have to rely largely on Jamaal Charles. I like Bowe but if he was really that great, he would have made Cassel look a lot better than he did. Not every receiver can be Larry Fitzgerald but he is the standard of a guy who can make plays no matter who is throwing it.
MIAMI DOLPHINS
Coach: Joe Philbin
Quarterback: Ryan Tannehill
Rival: Patriots
Surface: Grass (PAT)
I had this whole rant prepared about how the Dolphins were a sucky franchise that had nothing going for them other than the undefeated season and Dan Marino but I forgot it now, so I'll settle for just saying this: This team is going nowhere this year. You can't fix a below average team by cramming it full of free agent castoffs.
BURNING QUESTION: RYAN TANNEHILL - ANY GOOD?
He's no Johnny Manziel.
PHILADELPHIA EAGLES
Coach: Chip Kelly
Quarterback: Michael Vick
Rival: Giants
Surface: Grass
Fly, Eagles, Fly! I feel like I put this team way too high too. People like them because they're Philly and Philly have had a good decade but Chip Kelly is a guy who made hay from the infrastructure that Mike Bellotti built in Oregon. Mark Helfrich will succeed after him. Kelly could turn out to be a good NFL head coach but he will have to learn on the job and I think it will be rocky. I think Vick gets injured as always and the Eagles are stuck with Nick Foles or Barkley as their QB and Kelly will have be rewriting his entire playbook every week. I don't think they will be springing any fresh surprises in 2013.
BURNING QUESTION: HOW GOOD A JOB WILL CHIP KELLY DO ADJUSTING TO THE PRO LEVEL?
I just addressed that yo.
CAROLINA PANTHERS
Coach: Ron Rivera
Quarterback: Cam Newton
Rival: Falcons
Surface: Grass
This team has a good defense but the NFC is a tough conference and I don't think they have the mental strength as an organization to keep up.
BURNING QUESTION: HAS CAM NEWTON MATURED AS A PERSON AND A TEAMMATE?
Only time will tell. He has a lot of hubris and a lot of media types are keen to get all outraged and claim that all criticism leveled at him is racist. For his own sake I hope he is able to see through all that and work on his commitment to excellence. I don't think it's so easy for people to change though, especially ones who are allowed to coast along like him.
TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS
Coach: Greg Schiano
Quarterback: Josh Freeman
Rival: Saints
Surface: Grass
There's not anything really outstanding about this team, they are just generally competent. Mike Lombardi, a guy who matured the further away he got from his falling out with Al Davis, has a theory about restaurants which is that the best ones do one or two things really well and that's it whereas the ones who try and do a little bit of everything are roadside diner type places. The Buccs feel like a roadside diner.
BURNING QUESTION: IS GREG SCHIANO CURSED?
A MRSA outbreak!? Seriously? That stuff kills man. I say absolutely, yes.
THE ALSO RANS
ARIZONA CARDINALS
Coach: Bruce Arians
Quarterback: Carson Palmer
Rival: Seahawks
Surface: Grass
This team has a top tier defense but I say it is not a good sign that I had to look up who their coach and QB was. Arians did a good job as the de facto coach of the Colts last year but Palmer hasn't been good since Kimo van whateverhisface maimed him. Their division is brutally hard and I don't see their good qualities being rewarded.
BURNING QUESTION: HOW MUCH LONGER CAN LARRY FITZGERALD STAY IN THIS PIT?
I don't see him forcing his way out even if things go wrong for the Cardinals this year and they aren't able to trade for or draft a new competent looking QB, he is too nice and loyal a guy. Although he is ten years deep into his career, he is still in good shape physically and his game does not rely on speed.
MINNESOTA VIKINGS
Coach: Leslie Frazier
Quarterback: Christian Ponder
Rival: Packers
Surface: Shaw Sportexe Momentum 51
They have Adrian Peterson, the best runner in the league but they were mostly standing still in the off-season comparatively so I think the market will correct itself in a very tough conference and they find their deficiency at quarterback holds them back. Greg Jennings will not help as much as people think he will. These things rarely work out that way.
BURNING QUESTION: DOES MARSHALL ERIKSEN THINK CHRISTIAN PONDER IS A GOOD QB?
Msrshall has a tendency to overthink things like this but that could still send up going either way. There is nothing about Ponder that strikes me as exceptionally gifted or explosive so I say no.
ST LOUIS RAMS
Coach: Jeff Fisher
Quarterback: Sam Bradford
Rival: 49ers
Surface: FieldTurf
They're not the team that couldn't win more than three games a year anymore but they are still not good. Well. They're good enough to cause other teams significant problems. They're not good enough to escape a top heavy division. Maybe next year for these guys.
BURNING QUESTION: IF JEFF FISHER THE MOST OVERRATED COACH IN NFL HISTORY?
Jeff Fisher reminds me a lot of David Moyes, slow and steady, ultra conservative and not hugely popular amongst players. I feel as though he was able to excuse mediocrity for a long time by pointing to Peyton Manning and saying, 'How can I win with that guy in my division?' Similarly he can now point at the 49ers and Seahawks and say what chance do I have competing against them? He does have his moments and he is undeniably a good coach but his reputation is much greater than his actual level of achievement.
CLEVELAND BROWNS
Coach: Rob Chudzinski
Quarterback: Brandon Whedon
Rival: Steelers
Surface: Grass
Yeah, I know his name is Weeden or whatever but that's not nearly as fun. Rob Chudzinski was the OC during the Derek Anderson/Brady Quinn era so it suprised me a little that they brought him back especially as he wasn't pulling up any trees with a superior athlete at QB in Carolina but I trust they all say something deeper at work up there. Cleveland has a decent team but they are still the weak link in their strong division. I feel they are moving in the right direction though.
BURNING QUESTION: WHEN WILL THE BROWNS RETURN TO THE PLAYOFFS?
Pittsburgh and Baltimore are declining but those organizations are so well run that you can't trust they will dip enough to open the door for the Browns. The Bengals are on the way up at the moment and as questionable as their quarterback situation is, you can't claim it is any worse than in Cleveland. I don't see any luck for the Browns any time soon.
TENNESSEE TITANS
Coach: Mike Munchak
Quarterback: Jake Locker
Rival: Jaguars
Surface: Grass
If Bud Adams wants a Super Bowl title before he dies he needs to can the hapless Mike Munchak and throw the moon at Nick Saban. Experts believe Saban will only go to a team with a good QB to whit...
BURNING QUESTION: IS JAKE LOCKER REALLY THAT BAD?
No. I am a big fan of Jake Locker and won't deny that his first couple years haven't been great but he is a hard worker and has improved a lot in the off-season. The important thing to remember is that he survived Ty Willingham and won the Holiday Bowl. If he can do that, I see no reason why he couldn't continue to improve and be as good as a Russell Wilson. The talent around him is average but really this coaching regime does not feel like it has really moved on from the staleness that built up around Jeff Fisher. It is the backroom that needs the overhaul, not the man under center.
THE BRUCE COSLET DIVISION
SAN DIEGO CHARGERS
Coach: Mike McCoy
Quarterback: Philip Rivers
Rival: Broncos
Surface: Grass
I don't understand how the likes of the Titans, Panthers and Chiefs have longer odds than the Chargers. Am I missing something with this team? It is flat out terrible. They have two or three good players left and one of them is not Antonio Gates who is past it at this point. Derek Cox will not be making a difference on defense. He will get injured as per usual.
BURNING QUESTION: WHO IS MIKE MCCOY AND WHY SHOULD I CARE?
He is a guy that Peyton Manning made look like a god, sort of how Tom Brady made Charlie Weis look like a genius. There is no reason to care and he will be coaching Texas State or somewhere equally depressing in three years**
** Just in case it turns out he actually is a genius, I am mildly exaggerating for comedic effect.
NEW YORK JETS
Coach: Rex Ryan
Quarterback: Mark Sanchez (they hope)
Rival: Patriots
Surface: FieldTurf
There's a lot of drama surrounding this team which may have influenced my low ranking of them. With that said, beyond their defense I don't see anything that's good about this. I've felt since way back when he threw those two awful interceptions at Oregon while he was still in college that Mark Sanchez would be a terrible pro QB and even then he is still a thousand times a better option than Geno Smith. It's okay, John Idzik is just biding his time waiting to tip up the floor on this suqad anyway.
BURNING QUESTION: WILL REX RYAN SURVIVE THE SEASON?
I think everyone expects him to be fired the day after the end of the season no matter what but will he even make it that far? I have them with four wins at week fourteen. I think it's enough to let him be dealt with in a 'dignified' manner.
BUFFALO BILLS
Coach: Doug Marrone
Quarterback: Jeff Tuel?
Rival: Dolphins
Surface: A-Turf Titan
EJ Manuel, an unknown quantity perhaps analagous to a Josh Freeman is injured to start the season so Jeff Tuel who we know well from the hilarious Paul Wulff era at Washington State will be starting. He'll be okay, he is used to playing on an overmatched terrible team.
BURNING QUESTION: IS DOUG MARRONE THE MAN TO TURN BUFFALO AROUND?
I say yes. He did a great job at Syracuse who many thought were not salvageable and the AFC East, the AFC as a whole perhaps is not at its best. There is an opening within the next few years and if EJ Manuel can provide competent QB play they could sneak up and finally break their embarassing playoff duck - the only franchise in the thirty-two team era not to make it to playoffs. Where is the disappointed shaking head smiley when I need it?
JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS
Coach: Gus Bradley
Quarterback: Blaine Gabbert
Rival: Titans
Surface: Grass
The last post I wrote on this blog was a missive begging Shahid Kahn to fire Mike Mularkey and thankfully my prayers were answered. Gene Smith also went but that was a given as gutted this team and replaced it all with cotton wool. Gus Bradley is a great defensive coordinator and with three years of studying under Pete Carroll he will step up and be a great coach. It will take time to see the results though, talent poor as the Jaguars are and this season will not be pretty.
BURNING QUESTION: CAN BLAINE GABBERT TURN HIS FORTUNES AROUND?
See for yourself.
OAKLAND RAIDERS
Coach: Dennis Allen
Quarterback: Terrelle Pryor
Rival: Chiefs
Surface: Grass
I feel sorry for Greg Papa but the Raiders will be their usual terrible selves this year. Their problems are well documented but there is just not enough dynamic talent on this team. Darren McFadden and Tyvon Branch are decent players. Pryor is a great athlete but unrefined as a thrower and I don't think that is likely to improve. Come to think, they should give Tim Tebow a chance. What's the worst that could happen?
BURNING QUESTION: IS THERE ANY WAY THE RAIDERS WON'T BE THE WORST TEAM IN FOOTBALL THIS YEAR?
There probably is a way, some team always collapses in a totally unprecedented manner but they have no hope in hell of bypassing the Broncos and Chiefs in their division.
These are my playoff matchups:
Wild Card Round
Baltimore at
Cincinnati at
Seattle at
Divisional Round
Seattle at
Championship Round
Super Bowl XLVIII
Green Bay over Denver
Fun Fact: Meteorologists are predicting that this years Super Bowl will be played in the middle of a snowstorm. I know I said it was a myth that a superior running game was necessary for arctic conditions but as great as he is, I don't see Peyton Manning at his age throwing his way out of trouble with a freshly roided Clay Matthews bearing down on him. Therefore, your 2014/15 Super Bowl Champions, the Green Bay Packers! May it never come to pass.
Slim Charles: Game's the same, just got more fierce.
Sounds fun man, and I hope you're alright... I really miss talking about (real) football with you!
ReplyDeleteBest wishes,
Vyse Hazuky